I *AM* a designer/artisan/writer

A couple of weeks ago I was at the local stitch'n'bitch, and I happened to have my design notebook with me because I was working on one of my original designs. I opened it up and Sharon (the owner) peeked over my shoulder and said something like, "I love looking at designers' notebooks!" One of the other women said, in a very nice tone, "Oh, you're a designer?" And my response was to hem and haw and say something like, "Oh, well, you know, I'm trying." And later I thought What is wrong with me that I can't just say loud and proud "YES! I AM A DESIGNER!"?* I mean, really. I have quite a few designs up here, and the two I'm selling over in the Etsy store, and not only that, I have the one that got published at Purlescence a couple of years back. So while I'm no Cookie A. or Norah Gaughan, I think I'm allowed to call myself a designer. And I'm proud of being a designer. There's just something inside me that feels the need to be overly modest and self-deprecating when it comes to my abilities and skills.

I have the same problem when it comes to any sort of art and/or craft, including writing. I'm not saying that everything I've ever written is gold, but I do get more compliments than not on my writing. One of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me was my college English professor telling me that she always saved my papers for last so that she could be sure she'd have something well-written to read at the end of her grading. But have I ever really tried to make something of it? No. Same with my art. Maybe that's why I'm trying so hard with the Etsy store (though I often feel like I'm not doing enough with it) -- I feel like this is my chance to validate my artistic, creative self. I suppose I sort of did that a bit already, back when I was a web designer, but creating for marketing reasons isn't really the same as creating art for its own sake.

So I say now, loud and proud: I AM A DESIGNER! I AM AN ARTISAN! I AM A WRITER!

And I will use those skills and traits to make my mark.


*I know my punctuation there is questionable, but it's the only way it makes sense. Sorry, to those of you who are as anal about those things as I am.

posted by Laura Y. @ 10:47 AM