a Double order of sleep with a side of sleep, please

I need so much sleep. Becky, if you're reading this, please sleep for Mommy when we get home from your checkup tomorrow. See, I don't sleep well away from home. I don't sleep well around (relative) strangers. I don't sleep well away from Chris. Most importantly, I don't wake up well, and often not at all (if you doubt this, ask Chris about the picnic the Saturday of the weekend we first met). All of this means that I haven't had real sleep since Sunday night (and Saturday was kind of a bust, too). Tonight -- last night? -- I stayed up all night because apparently there's a tradition at the company retreat that at least one person gets fired every year for missing meetings. I am terrified that if I go to sleep -- really go to sleep, not the little catnaps I've had -- I'm not going to wake up in time for the meetings (all of you who think you can wake me up, or that I should just get a wakeup call, see above re: first weekend I met my husband). So I remain awake. I was so terrified last night that I kept waking up every fifteen minutes. To detail the problem for those of you still not seeing the big picture (can you tell I've been having this conversation a lot?):
- I have trouble falling asleep. In a bed not my own, I typically stay awake until 2 or 3 am, even if I go to bed at 9:30 or 10.
- I have trouble waking up. This is to the point where I have perfectly coherent conversations (and or screaming matches) with people and still don't get up...and have no recollection that this ever took place. This happens evenif there are alarms and wake up calls and people pounding on the door.
- I am terrified that I will fall asleep too late and wake up too late and miss the meetings and get fired.

The end result of this has been that despite my best efforts, I have not been able o sleep more than 30 minutes at a time. This is not very restful. Oh, and by the way, I'm sick. Fun. Really, I just want to pass out for about three days.

posted by Laura Y. @ 2:42 AM